Accidently in Love

What is there to tell?

Love and friendship. It is more complicated compared to a normal relationship.

Friends - you get to talk whatever you want without any hesitation. Laugh out loud you can.

But once it turned into a relationship - gosh, it will ruin the whole beautiful things. All of sudden, secrets are getting in a way. No more telling the truth. To keep each other happy, it's better to be silent.

I used to have a very good friend - long time ago. Somehow, we became closer and closer, ended up in a relationship with each other. Well, it's good to have a boyfriend who used to be your best buddy before, but, to tell you the truth, somehow along the way, we also build a very long border between us. I hate to say this, but i kind of missing the old days of us. I love him still, though. But the feeling is getting old. We are both getting old, fun is never really matters anymore. Now it's all about 'getting old' together.

I don't like it. I wish he's more like the guy i love in TV shows, romantic and caring. He used to be that guy before.

It doesn't really matter anymore. After all, he's all i've got. If i was to find another person, that would be very hard for me to start all over again. I don't wish to make my life harder so i am thankful with whom i with right now (although, i hope a little more from this relationship).

And i have this very good friend of mine. I have a very special feeling towards him. We still have a good chat whenever we bumped into each other. For 8 years, knowing him is the best part in my life! For years, he has been there through my ups and downs. I was there during his too. God knows, we still care about each other.

I bid my another farewell to him, recently. I put my hand around his arm and we walked together - talked about all littlest unimportant things. As we reached the corner pathway to my office, we both gave a good hug. That was the second farewell we did in 2 years.

I love him - friendly love. I can't hope more than that. Our friendly love is enough to make us both happy. We are best to be just friend. It is not really a good idea falling for your best buddy. Thank God, i limit my feeling towards him. But still, he has a special place here in my heart. Always.

I want to leave it that way because i don't want to ruin anymore friendship like i did before. i never regret what i've ruined before, in fact, i'm still with him. I just hope we could get back to the old time fun like we used to have before.

Xoxo

Back to hometown!

I'm finally back to KK.

Leaving KL this time is much more harder than last time.

Before i left, i met Dzul and gave him the SAMCRO dvd for him to watch. We walked together and gave a good hug as farewell. Going to miss that guy. The only friend i care about...

And Hobbes, not so easy to leave too. But he'll be just fine. I miss him already.

And i miss Cibbo too and the other cats. Roxy... Damn it, i miss them dearly now...

Here i am. I'm back... It feels like i never left at all. I'm happy to be here and glad too.

At this time, i'm all alone with my cousin, Boy. Brenda is on her way home from her Campus. The rest of the family went to Penang for vacation yesterday. Brenda is joining them in couple of days. Me? I'm missing a lot of family outings, well, including this one.

Hopefully next time i am able to join them. In fact, i do not wish to miss anymore fun with them.

Xoxo

What is a friend?

So, i read something from my dear friend's blog. Something about her good friend, said something painful (involved her mother) right to her face! Geez! That 'friend' was lucky enough i was not there, or else, surely she'd get one BIG PUNCH from me as a reminder present.

I hope my friend is over this now, there's nothing to think about whatever she said. It's useless. You have a good life now, cherish that with people you love most - family!

It's painful enough to have someone close to you said something bad about anything that relates to you, even worse to have it said face to face.

I remember long time ago, during my MAS years. It's a big community, when you talk about big community, imagine the 'politics'!

It was early in the morning, and a few of us were having breakfast at McD and we were talking about AA, about how he managed the flight rosters and all.

So, me being the open minded person, jokingly said this , 'Alaa... susah betul la dia tu, pagi pagi muka dah macam hantu, tak nak senyum, muka bengis.'

We laughed and added few more jokes about this person AA.

Then, this senior lady, BB, who was with us and enjoying the jokes, replied to me, 'Dia tu dari zaman Subang memang muka dah macam hantu.'

And we laughed again. Something to cheer our days, i guess.

Then i realized, whenever this AA handled the flight roster, i never get my Overtime. But with other officer, my overtime request is approved. Hey, come on, something fishy here. I told my Sarawakian friend about this, he realized it too! I was like, nahhhh... forget it!

I was not happy and so is my Sarawakian friend. Because we always did overtime together and since mine is not approved, he had to do overtime all by himself. So, he approached AA, 'Apasal u tak bagi Darlene ot? U ade problem ke ngan die?'

And then, believe it or not, AA replied, 'Habis tu, dia cakap saya ni pagi pagi muka macam hantu!'.

Wohohohoooo....! And this friend came to me and told me of AA reply. I was like, my goodness, who told him this? Jokes were meant to be left on that breakfast table! So, i was angry and was really looking to WHO told him the joke. Then i found out, it was the senior lady BB who told him all that. How i know it? Nevermind. I just regret the day i made the joke, she was there.

This AA wasn't talking to me. So, i didn't get to explain myself. But i did send a very long SMS to him. I also mentioned, 'The one gave you this information, she was there. Not only sat there with us, she also gave her 'hantu' jokes about you.' But most of my SMS was about, who are you to stop me from doing overtime which is not right at all. I know you are the supervisor, but you have no right to do just that, all because you have a personal problem me. Totally not professional.

Funny thing after my long SMS to him, eventually, i started getting my overtime back. But we never talk to each other since.

Feeling guilty, my Sarawakian friend, asked me.... , 'Darlene, why on earth did you send him the SMS?'.

I answered, 'I had to. I mean, he's getting personal there. Why? How did you know i sent him SMS?'.

He replied, 'Oh, he stopped me the other day... and AA said - Nape u bagitau Darlene? Tengok apa dia SMS dekat i.'

I giggled. Because in the end AA felt guilty about the whole thing.

Me, feeling guilty? Nope. Not even a scratch.

To AA, we could have been friends but thanks to BB. You deserved a friendship from BB. You and me have no good chemistry together.

Up till i tendered my resignation letter to MAS, we never talk to each other. But a lot of anger stories between me and him. We never really get along at work.

Last month, i saw AA at Tesco Nilai. I saw him clearly but he was walking fast avoiding me. I guess he saw me first before i did. He was carrying a pale and a very long stick, could be a broom or a mop, he just bought.

Obviously, he was avoiding me. Too bad, i saw him! Hihihi...

Country songs

Remind Me (Brad Paisley feat. Carrie Underwood)



We didn’t care if people stared
We’d make out in a crowd somewhere
Somebody’d tell us to get a room
It’s hard to believe that was me and you
Now we keep saying that we’re ok
But I don’t want to settle for good not great
I miss the way that it felt back then I wanna feel that way again

Been so long that you’d forget the way I used to kiss your neck
Remind me, remind me
So on fire so in love. Way back when we couldn’t get enough
Remind me, remind me

Remember the airport dropping me off
We were kissing goodbye and we couldn’t stop
I felt bad cause you missed your flight
But that meant we had one more night

Do you remember how it used to be
we’d turn out the lights and we didn’t just sleep
Remind me, Baby Remind me
Baby remind me
Oh so on fire, so in love
that look in your eyes that I miss so much

See You in the Spring (Court Yard Hounds feat Jakob Dylan)



Cold Chicago nights
Chains on tires
You're diggin' out snow
That wind, it just ain't right
I made up my mind
I'm headin' home

Well babe, can't you give it time?
I'll keep you warm at night
This town is all I know
And I could see you in my life
Stay inside (I can't go outside)
Just please don't go (so I gotta go)

'Cause baby, your Winter is nothing but prison
It drives me away
And maybe, come Summer, then we'll be together
Our time will come again
'Til then I'll see you in the Spring
Ah, so don't throw it all away
Throw it all away…

The end of Spring and June arrives
Won't you take a flight?
Come down to San Antone
That heat, feels like I'm on fire
No, it just ain't right
It makes me sweat at night
I'd rather be alone
(It's just not right…it's just not right to be so alone)

'Cause baby, your Summer is nothing but prison
It drives me away
And maybe, come Winter, we can't be together
But love will come again
'Til then I'll see you in the Spring
Ah, so don't throw it all away
Throw it all away

You know I live just to see your eyes
I'll meet you half way
I'll meet you half way by the runaway sign
(Makes me fall when for me you'll find a way,
I'll find you baby)

'Cause baby, your Winter is nothing but prison
It drives me away
And maybe, come Summer, we can't be together
Our time will come again
When I'll see you in the Spring
Ah, so don't throw it all away

Ah, don't throw it away

Ah, so don't throw it all away… throw it all away

Cowboy Take Me Away (Dixie Chicks)



I said, "I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something
Wild and unruly"

I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of blue bonnets
In a blanket made of stars

Oh it sounds good to me

I say, "Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue"
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile

Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

I said, "I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something
Wild and unruly"

Oh it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

Closer to you
Cowboy take me away
Closer to you

Travelin' Soilders (Dixie Chicks)



Two days past eighteen
He was waiting for the bus in his army green
Sat down in a booth in a cafe there
Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair
He's a little shy so she gives him a smile
And he said would you mind sittin' down for a while
And talking to me,
I'm feeling a little low
She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go

So they went down and they sat on the pier
He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care
I got no one to send a letter to
Would you mind if I sent one back here to you

Chorus: I cried
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy
Too young for him they told her
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier
Our love will never end
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again
Never more to be alone when the letter said
A soldier's coming home

So the letters came from an army camp
In California then Vietnam
And he told her of his heart
It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of
He said when it's getting kinda rough over here
I think of that day sittin' down at the pier
And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile
Don't worry but I won't be able to write for awhile

One Friday night at a football game
The Lord's Prayer said and the Anthem sang
A man said folks would you bow your heads
For a list of local Vietnam dead
Crying all alone under the stands
Was a piccolo player in the marching band
And one name read but nobody really cared
But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair

Little Moments (Brad Paisley)



Like We Never Loved at All (Faith Hill feat. Tim McGraw)



You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath those city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But i'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

You, i hear you're doing fine
Seems like you're doing well
As far as i can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still i haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is
To letting go like you did, like you did

Did you forget the magic
Did you forget the passion
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss me

Picture (Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow)



Livin my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine
In three damn days
Been fuelin'up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin' just ain't right
I've been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same how've you been?
Since you've been gone my worlds been dark and grey
You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were comin' home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind

I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you, come back home

It's not good but thank you anyway.

Great! So, they pulled out my name from participating Company Orientation Course in Incheon, Korea. And to add more salt on the wound, they extended me for another week here!

He, you-know-who, postponed my participation til next year January. I somehow know that will never happen. Knowing that BKI station will only operate til February. Who would send a staff for a course when obviously that station will be offline soon? I don't hope much on that, they are just word of empty promises.

And me being stucked here in KUL - sucks man! Furthermore, the revised roster i received yesterday is not really something that would make me appreciate their honesty of keeping me longer here. By looking at the roster, it's clearly i am only extended here to accomodate their annual leave intakes. One by one is having a good treatment getting their annual leave approved and me, the pity ones, have to cover them. Seriously shit!

Of course i'm mad and angry over this. What am i? A replacement? Yet, i have no voice on this matter. To not make it even worse, i just have to put a BIG FAKE smile on my face. Inside, i feel like screaming!

Postponed my course and extended me for another week simply because they have short manpower. What a piece of bullshit!

Well, what the hell. I don't care but thank you. With all this crap arrangement, at least, i don't have to burden my family. Despite all the hurt i'm feeling right now, i'm thankful that i will leave my family out of the burden i was about to ask them.

I'm helping you out, KULKK. Just stop taking advantage on me. I'm not a toy.

To my family, i'm coming home soon. When soon is taking too long, just wait for me okay. Xoxo.

I'll be missing Cibbo

Cibbo, my dear Cibbo. I can't sleep without you by my side. Imagine when i'm away from you for months. Life would be miserable and empty.

I'll be away from you again. In less than two weeks, i'll be going back to KK. Leaving you and Hobs behind.

In a couple of months, i promise to come back and be with you again.

Be a good cat when i'm away, okay.

Love,
Kojoy xoxo

Love

How could i not love them? They are the love of my life. My Hobs and Cibbo.

Oh look..!

Ha....

Finally received the official letter about my Dispatch Svc Extension.

All in Korean language, tho. Hihihi.... only Kojoy knows how to read...

Double date at TGIF

Yesterday we spent the whole day with Darry and Efie! We had a wonderful time together, nevermind the tiredness. We went to One Utama, Damansara. We, girls, did a little bit of shopping, went for a lovely dinner at TGIF and finally watched Reel Steel at GSC.

Ordered only a few from TGIF menu. But wait til they send to food to table - it's just A LOT! Totally worth your money! The menus we had was, Fried Mac and Cheese, TGIF 3 for All, French Onion Soup, Chicken and Shrimp Diablo, and Chicken Salad.

Double date with Darry and his fiancee, Efie.

Fried Mac and Cheese, TGIF 3 for All, French Onion Soup!

TGIF faces - me and my Hobs!

Okay...

So, my Kalman (company website) said my dispatch service in KLIA will end on the 6th November 2011. Meaning, on the 7th November, i should be back in KK. But then again, ROK feels that i should stay in KLIA until KK flight resumes which is on the 17th. Okay... no problem. I'm not in a rush either. Then, my KK Boss emailed me that i should be going back on the 7th. I said, i have no problem with that too - only that, you have to talk to ROK regarding that. I'm not in that level to speak with ROK. That should be a communication between Boss to Boss - Korean way la... if this is a local company, Boss ka, Staff ka, Kuli ka... hantam saja.

Long story short - they decided to let me go on the 19th. So, my last day in KLIA will be on the 18th. Kitai betul, kena pula Boeing 747-400... geez!

Anyways, that's all good with me. I am okay with all that, after all, i get to stay longer with my Hobs here. All i really want is, at the end of this whole thing, i must be back at my hometown. There is no other place like home, indeed.

I know Korean Air will only operates few months in KK after this November operation resumes. I heard, February 2012 would be the final month? I don't know... that's what the rumors said. Even Denpasar staff told me that. Hmmm... i love Korean Air because the money is damn good plus the bonuses twice a year and of course the once in a year staff's incentive! But then again, if the company's fate should be short-lived, then there is nothing else i can do about it. I guess, i have to look for another.

Then... this is the Big news of all. It really made my day! My sister wants me to join her setting up this Travel Agency of hers! I don't know if working with the family is good or not but still, working with people you love is just something wonderful you could've imagined.

And of course, i said YES! At least i am not completely out of job!

So far soooo good and OKAY to me!

Ciao!

The words -DON'T WANT

I read in my company website KALMAN, that my dispatch service extended until 6th November 2011. Well, looks like i'm going leave KL again very soon.

But, my heart now keeps telling me this is not going to be an easy departure. This time i feel a little bit harder than before.

I don't want to go back to KK. If i leave, Hobs is going to be alone here. I mean, alone in the house. Daniel is back to KK for good since August.

But again, i don't want to stay working here in KL! Seriously i cannot adapt the way Korean works here. Other colleagues are fine but not the Koreans.

Working with them will only make my life even difficult.

I don't want to go but i don't want to stay.

This afternoon he said to me, i will be alone here when you finally leave KL on November. I said, i know and i don't feel like i want to go. Then he said, see, you were given the option to stay but you decided to go instead. And i replied, eventually, you'll be back too, right? He answered, yes, next year. But until then, i'll be alone here....

Pity my Hobs....

Bad week

First, i got into a car accident. Thank God it was not really serious although it involved four cars and a motorcycle.

Second, i broke my big Ikea glass and accidently cut my finger.

Third, i dropped the chopping knife on the floor almost hit my feet.

Thank God, i am still alive!

What a tiring day!

Woke up early, i mean REAL early. I went to Kinarut Tamu with my parents and sister Judy. We shopped a lot of fresh items to be cooked for Judy's engagement.

Went home after spending almost two hours shopping.

At home, peeled onions, chopped chillies and vegetables.

My aunt and her two sons came over to deliver seven crates of Tiger Beer. Entertained them for an hour before they left.

Took a quick rest for an hour and then went out again to Servay Supermarket to buy 6kgs of meat and few other things. Stopped over at a bakery shop to buy 1kg of cake.

Reached home and started to slice all meat into small cubes.

Then, we went to attend Mass at Terawi Church. After service was over, bumped into my best friend aka my cousin and her family. She's heavily pregnant now with second child. Chit chat for about 20 minutes and left.

Went to 818 restaurant to have dinner with Judy's future in-laws family. Spent about 2 hours there.

Reached home and cousins already there to make the night merrier for us. Chat til past midnight and now i really need to get back to sleep while cousins are still having fun outside.

My eyes couldn't take it anymore. My sleep will be only for 3 hours and have to wake up early later at 5pm to cook my dish for the engagement lucheon.

Will also have to bathe our dog Q.

Tired. And will be going to have another tiring day later.

Wish me luck. Hope i will not pass out later...

Hometown baby!

I am back in my hometown! Yey! My sister Judy is getting engaged on this Sunday.

But now i have to deal with my sinus. Damn it!

I am still happy, though! No other place like home...

Home sweet home!

Definitely not my day.

When i think i have done much possible work tasks in order to make sure flight goes smoothly, my Boss didn't think so.

That's what exactly happened just now.

For the first time, he was really mad at me. He kept telling that i didn't do my job. I have feeling he was very frustrated with me.

As much as think that i did pretty well just now, that did not worked for him.

I'm sad because i left such a bad impression to him.

How do i make it right to him now? I feel really really bad. In fact, i am still shocked with all the things he said towards me. Worse, he said it all in front all other colleagues.

He's dissappointed with me. To tell the truth i felt the same way too. Only if i could turn back time.

I felt really bad the fact that he was not happy with me job, the rest of the colleagues had to stay longer at that time because he was lecturing me. He was actually not happy with all of us but 80%, no... I think 90% was all about me.

As he finished lecturing us, he just left. He really showed his dissappointment.

I have a good colleagues, though. They somehow disagreed with whatever he said about me. Anthony said, he didn't know anything about what we were doing because he doesn't, in fact, never keep or hold the walkie-talkie with during flight operation.

Jinny said she knows exactly how i feel. She's been there before. She had even worse than what i just had. Jackie, in the other hand, said to me that what he said was totally wrong and not think or even worry about that because he had enough pressure already the whole day and that was what made him finally burst all the anger.

Despite all that, i still feel very bad. For years, not one ever been that angry about my job.

I can't promise anything too. No matter how good and efficient i am, he will never notice that now that i am such a big dissappointment to him.

I am not going to change in order to pleased him. I did pretty well, too bad he didn't see that.

This just so happened at a wrong day at a wrong situation and i was caught in between. And so i got all the blames.

I do feel bad but i can't turn back the time to make things right in his eyes, right?

I 'bitched' about what i do in my previous blog. This one of the reasons. And i just don't like it.

ROK, i apologized - I love this job because the money is good, but i don't like it if people don't appreciate my work. And i apologize that i've ruined your mood and spoiled your already-spoilt-day. Drag us all to your spoilt day if that would make you feel better.

But what else can i say. Work is work, good or bad, at the end of the day, boss is still a boss. All i can do is nod my head without saying a word to redeem my pride.

What a day! Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. After all, tomorrow is another day.

When too much is too much.

Seriously, i can't work with you because the way you work makes me feel like a servant. Like just now, you kept pushing me to rush the Blind passengers to board. You saw them yourself that passengers just arrived at gate, how can you rushed Blind passengers to board? Did you forget that they are Blind? Or you don't know what the word Blind is?

You - irritates me.
You - disgusts me.

For your information, we are better off without you.

There, i'm a little relieved now.

Guillaume Canet

I watched two movies yesterday. It was really good - both movies.

First i watched Last Night. I love Sam Worthington and Guillaume Canet in this movie. I am not really a big fan of Keira Knightly, but with her on the movie makes everything looked even perfect.

The trailer,



The Plot (read more on Wiki) - Joanna (Keira Knightley) and Michael Reed (Sam Worthington) are in a successful and happy relationship. They are moving along in their lives together until Joanna meets Laura (Eva Mendes), the stunningly beautiful work colleague whom Michael never mentioned. While Michael is away with Laura on a business trip, Joanna runs into an old but never quite forgotten love, Alex (Guillaume Canet). As the night progresses and temptation increases, each must confront who they really are.

The second movie i watched, also with Guillaume Canet as the lead actor, only this movie he starred in with Marion Cotillard (back then, they were just working together for movies, now they are together and have child together). I did mentioned about Marion Cotillard in my previous blog, about how i love her so much in La Vie En Rose portraying the legendary French singer Edith Piaf. Marion won her first Oscar for her role in this movie.

Well, that second movie i watched last night (with Hobs) was Jeux D'enfants (Love Me If You Dare). It's a French movie - and i LOVE it!

The trailer,



You are going to love this movie as much as i did. I watched this twice already, convincing Hobs this is a good movie because he never heard nor watch it before.

Read the Plot here. Watch what i watched, you won't regret it, after all i only watch GOOD movies!

Time out with Colleagues

It's good to have time-out session with colleagues after a stressful work once in awhile. I wanted to skip this drinking session, i even told Hobs i wont be going for it, but Mr. Sim said that this session is for more about giving me an early farewell gathering. A little too early, right? I mean, i am only leaving on November. But then, i feel bad if i don't go. After all, Jackie, Jinny and Syahrul were on off day, and still they come for this 'farewell'. Hobs was not very happy that i decided to go for this drinking session. But he gave green light in the end. It's not like i'm going to a pub and get crazy drinking like i used to have decades ago.

Above are the pics i took. Just a few snaps. We had good times though. The cat also joined us! I just realized that Jinny is afraid of cats. Funny.

The Letter

My sister posted this on her FB wallpost and it's hilarious!

Read and re-post!

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem...

Nuffnang.

Come on, Nuffnang? Love me, please!

I'm trying hard here to get your attention...

The Scientist - The Perfect Ending song...

Movie: Wicker Park
Starring: Josh Hartnett (my love) and Diane Kruger

I wrote about this movie on my previous blog. I am going to write about it again. Because to me, this is the best ROMANCE movie ever.

Because of one person, two couple were separated for years and only reunited after both found out the truth about the other person.

Good story. No. Not just good, but one hell of good movie!

Read the ending script. I am sure you guys want to try watch this movie.

At the restaurant

Alexx:
Who's to say this woman hasn't been in love with you for a really long time? And now that she found you again, she wasn't about to let you go twice.

Matthew:
What?

Alexx:
Maybe... the first time she saw you, maybe, she felt the way you did the first time you saw Lisa.

You remember that.

Love makes you do crazy things. Insane things. Things in a million years you never thought you'd see yourself do.

There you are doin' it. Can't help it.

Luke:
Lighten up, you guys. Can we change the subject?

I actually have something to cheer you up.

Did you, uh, leave a note with the bartender here a few days ago?

Matthew:
Yeah, I did. How do you know that?

Luke:
'Cause Lisa called.

Matthew:
What?

Luke:
Yeah! After you got off the phone. She said to meet her at 3 o'clock. She couldn't wait long, 'cause she had to get on a plane to London.

Matthew:
W-where am I supposed to meet her?

Luke:
She didn't say. She said you'd know. You don't know?

Alexx:
I think you know where. It hasn't been that long, has it?

Luke:
What? You know, uh... I'll ask Tony. Maybe he'll know something.

Matthew:
You knew she was here the whole time?

Alexx:
This belongs to you. It's from her.

---
A letter reads:

"Matt,

Please don't think that I'm running away from you. I was so overwhelmed when you asked me to move in. I couldn't speak. My answer, of course is YES.

I love you and can't wait to come home."
---

Alexx:
I'm not going to apologize for what I've done. This is for me to live with now. Now you see me for who I am.

Matthew:
Yes, I do.

At the airport

Lisa:
Hi, Alexx. You're never gonna believe what happened. Matthew's back in town. I was gonna meet him in the park, but he didn't show up.

Alexx:
Yeah... I know.

Lisa:
What do you mean?

Alexx:
Lisa, I've been doing some really horrible and selfish things.

Lisa:
What are you talking about?

Alexx:
I've been keeping you apart.

------

And the rest of the ending you can watch it here, with the perfect ending song by Coldplay's The Scientist.

Enjoy!

*ahhh, there is no embedded code* so, you need to click this link to watch.

Link : Wicker Park, ending scene.

Check this out!

I was reading www.adieha.blogspot.com and found another interesting website! Thanks to Adieha, i mean... reading others blog will somehow lead to another discovery. Hihihi!

The interesting website i mentioned is actually a place where you can promote your blog! Make friends with all the bloggers in the world!

Start visiting and follow the simple steps to learn how.

http://promoteyourbloghere.blogspot.com/

Korean Air Dinner with MH staffs

They are not just staffs but they are my friends. Thanks for coming to dinner with us!

What's with Cibbo today?

Daytime zzz. Joining him, shortly. We both are having our own lazy Wednesday.

Beautiful.

Gorgeous Mum and pretty Daughter.
Kate Moss & Lila Grace.

with courtesy of www.vogue.com

Do you remember The White Stripes music video? Directed by Sofia Coppola, starring Kate Moss, cinematography by Lance Acord? This is Mesmerizing!

What SHE wrote.

Imagine what i felt (years ago) when i read this. Broke my heart - real deep. And the scars are still fresh.

She wrote. And she deleted it. I copied it. Kept in my Gmail.

I have no idea why on earth i am still keeping it.

Simple. Forgiven but not forgotten.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

When I wrote that e-mail it was out of guilt, because I had wrongly perceived what was going on at that time. However, as expected, my good intentions were seen somehow as a bad thing. Honestly, I have no idea how that went about, as if she had read carefully the e-mail, there was nothing to "buy" out of it. There's nothing in it for me. I just wanted to save others from being hurt in the future, her included.

Oh, on a funnier note too.
Even at this point, (when he drove in earlier this morning) when I mentioned to him about her response, asked him about the "no advisors" that she said he mentioned..
he still denied having to know anything of any SMS-es or e-mails. Despite her clearly saying that he read the mail too, and despite her clearly writing that "as he said, we don't need any advisors". I directly asked him, "so then are you calling her a liar?" to which he said "i'm not calling her anything, but i'm telling you i've never read any e-mail or any sms. Both the phones were with her at that time,"

So at this point it's her word against his.
Frankly I'd rather much trust her compared to him. After all, he doesn't exactly have the best track record. Who promised me that in the end I'd be the only one he'd be coming back to? And I bet my life that he'd once promised her that she was the only one and that he'd never cheat on her. And even when the truth stuck clearly out : like when he told her he didn't know his picture got taken, when I clearly asked him before i took it and he consented - oh, but then again, at that point he did mention (after I cornered him) that he lied because he didn't want to have to deal it. Oh, and I bet she doesn't know that a week before their engagement when we hugged I asked him again and yet he still denied the engagement. And even after they got back and he got back to work he had the nerve to carry on with the lie and say that it had all been planned out for him and that he didn't know what to expect. (which was what I had believed all along, only until recently when I found out the truth).

Oh well, if she's reading this, I hope she understands. I'm not trying to break you and him up. And I'm not trying to "sell" you anything either. I'm not advising you, I couldn't care less about you. Or him anymore. But it's a win-win situation. Be with him. Don't let him go astray. What's in it for me? nothing.. except for the fact that I don't want any other woman to be hurt like how I was hurt in this process, and you can't deny the fact that in the process you were hurt as well. Revenge is sweet, but I believe that karma will take care of that. Which is why, I guess, at the end of the day it doesn't matter who is lying to whom, because at the very end, the truth always prevails.

Oh and for whatever it's worth, I maintain my innocence. Before I went out with him, I asked him about his girlfriend. (and I assume that would be you, circa august - september 2007?) And he asked me if I wanted to see your picture. And you know what picture he sent? A picture of Roxy in a cage.

When I finally did find out about you, we hadn't started going out yet. He said he rarely met you anyway. And trust me, as horrible a person as I may be, I would never have went out with him had he suggested we sneak around your back, or something in the lines of "no one's going to know about it". But he told me that "he'd take care of it". That he'd broken up with you. That you were the one who didn't want to listen, you were the one still hanging on. And he promised me forever too. And trust me, not a day goes by that I don't regret trusting him instead of trusting you. All these months, I trusted him when I should have just trusted you. Believing that he was being forced into living a life that he didn't want. But that's all over now.

Which is why I sent you that e-mail. Not to break you up, I know you love him enough to close an eye to any wrong that he does, after all he did and you still love him enough to marry him - that's a really strong (albeit weird) thing to do. But I sent it so no other women can be hurt by him again. Keep your man with you, don't give him the opportunity to hurt you again. I totally understand why you would think I have bad intentions, but trust me, there is nothing in it for me, whichever way I chose - so at least this is my shot at trying to redeem myself.

Counting the days.

As of today's date, i have another 6 weeks more to go before going back to BKI.

I am a little bit attached to the working environment here, so it must be very hard for me to leave again.

Dreamer

Cibbo.

He's getting more and more good dreams lately.

Deep sleep. Better than mine.

Envy the cat.

I am struggling to finish this.

In a few minutes, if i can't finish it, it's going to the Bin.

Wasted. Rm1.20.

Priscilla Ahn's Dream

I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves
And laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest swing
I had a dream

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down at me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest tree
I had a dream

oooo....

Now I'm old and feeling gray
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full, I lived it well
As many tales I live to tell
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing
I had a dream

Between me and you.

Our friendship is something that i will cherish forever. I can't deny the fact that i am always happy whenever i see you. And so, our relationship is like a gold to me. It's precious.

You know who you are. And i hope you feel the same too.

The Band Perry's song If I Die Young, there is a line she sings,

Wonder when you're dead, people start listening.

Yep. That's true. I am one of those people. But i haven't start listening to Amy Winehouse's. Perhaps tonight i will, after i finish work.

Our tyre exploded yesterday! Poor Hobbes. Another tyre punctured in less than 2 months. Wonder why things like this always happened during 'bulan tua', if you get what i mean.

A friend, Darry, came to the rescue. Thanks to him!

The reason why i don't like KL is because i'm sure going to miss everything back in hometown.

Today is a full month birthday for my little cousin. I was invited via sms but little did she know that i am actually in KL.

And of course i didn't attend that. So, i asked my mum to tell her that i'm unable to go because 'i am not there'. I told her to send my regards though.

My sis Judy is getting engaged on Oct 9th. Well, that is something not to be missed by family, right?

I'll be home for that.

Above are pictures i snapped today.

Rain

I love rain. But i don't like it when it comes with strong wind and thunderstorm. That whole 'package' make this house even creepier than usual.

Whatever it is, it's good to have this kind of weather once in awhile. But only when Hobbes is around. I'm not afraid if he's around.

Look at the picture. The sky is really dark.

Pablo and Mama

Found these pictures 'hidden' in Hobbes' computer.

My grandma visited me and looked so happy to be around with our Pomeranian dog named Pablo.

Me and my fiancee found Pablo about four years ago and we quickly adopted him.

We are planning to send him to our kampung. We hardly spend time with him and the fact that he is one little happy and fun dog, made us really sad to keep him. He needs to be in a place full of people. My family is the best solution we could think of.

Just talked to my sister Suzan about Pablo. She will help us to transport Pablo to kampung.

I will make sure this to happen very soon. I mean, real soon.

F word to what i do

Unfortunately, my mobile didn't save my blog draft just now. So now i have to re-type everything.

Customer service. That's what i do. And i'm tired and sick of doing it.

I don't like serving you.
I don't like to act nice in front of you but in another language i would actually bitch about you.
I don't like to smile to people who is ugly. I mean the attitude.
I hate people who have bad body odour, bad breath, alcohol smell.
I don't like people who don't speak English and orders me to call other people who can speak their language.
I hate people who bring golfbag and act rich but in reality, they are actually not.
I hate when they ask if possible to have an empty seat next to them. Stupid. Buy extra seat if you want to seat alone!
I hate people blaming the road traffic as a reason why they come late.
I hate imposter, trying luck to get to another country with fake document.

Clearly, i'm done with this job. I am done with all this crappy requests.

I'm looking forward to do one thing that does not require me to understand ones need. I want a task where people follow the rules without asking why.

But here i am. Stuck. And still doing it.

Show me the way. Will definitely leave all this behind me.

Show me the way. And i will go.

Raya with good friends!

These are some of the pictures i took during Raya open house at Reziyanti's house. We had fun with lots of good food on the table.

Thanks for the invitation! I hope to do this again next year.