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Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Did you know that i went to Seoul, South Korea, recently?

I found Seoul a very modern country. The subway train, the airport, the traffic... i have a long list of what they have in Korea and what we don't have here in Malaysia.

Winter season already started when i went to Seoul. It was soooo freezing but I LIKE IT. Too bad, it didn't snow during my visit there.

Maybe next time.

I want to go again!!! I LOVE Korea!

Will upload the PICTURES later!


Friday, November 26, 2010

The ups and downs of October

October was definitely one of the busiest months for me.

The ups. My sis' wedding.

While busy preparing my sister's wedding to her longtime fiancee, i was looking forward meeting my fiancee too. He arrived from KL just in time for the wedding.

When he arrived, i didn't get the chance to pick him up from the airport. I had a lot of things unsettled at that time so his housemate, Daniel, went to pick him up and sent him home in Likas.

That Friday night, we already had like a wedding 'shower' for Suzan... The Gongs been played, Beers, traditional wine, and of course - heavy dinner. Also, we had a lot of natural and technical problem! I mean, the whole day was raining heavily and black outs during the night! It didn't happen anything like that before but on eve of the wedding day, it happened. I had a very stressful time during that night because i haven't finish doing Suzan's wedding booklet.

The downs. Stroke.

I finally finished printing all the wedding booklets. It was already about 3 or 4am. I was ready to go sleep. I made a call to Bob and he told me he was at hospital. What?! I was so shocked and started to think all of silly things that could've happened to him. Accident?! Nope. Thank God! But he told me even bad news.


He arrived home at 10 past midnight. His father was the one who opened the gate. In the house, the father said lets watch Marcel's wedding DVD. They only watched it for about 20 minutes when his mother realized something was wrong with his father. Then, his mother said - your father got stroke!

When i called him, he was already at the hospital. And i asked every little details about his father's condition that time. He said, his father was ok but half of his face looked like paralyzed. He said, the father even smiled when he was questioned by the doctor.

He asked me not to worry about it. And so i did. I prayed that very moment for his father.

The next day - wedding day.

It was one hectic ceremony i've ever witnessed but ours was perfect! It was a beautiful morning and a perfect wedding for my sister. I could never asked for more. Thank God it went perfectly well.

During photo session, i saw many missed call on my handphone. Missed call from Bob. I returned his call only to hear bad news about his father. His father health condition detrotriated, worsen and he fell into coma. My mind all of sudden went blank. I just don't know what to say. Bob kept saying sorry for not able to come to the wedding. I comforted him with my positive words that i could think of that time - he'll be just fine! You'll see!

And i was wrong. His father died at 1:20pm. He called me as soon as the time of death was confirmed. I was at my sis' wedding reception.

There was a time when i felt so down - mixed feelings. I can't really express how sorry i was that time to Bob. He again kept saying sorry. There was nothing to be sorry about actually. I understand. Fully understand.

So, that day - i couldn't attend to his family matters. And he, too, couldn't attend to my family matters.

Practically, on this date of 09th October 2010 - was a happy day for my sister and a sad day for my Bob.

The next day, my families and i, went to Tuaran - to pay our last respect to his father. One man, i know as a father, laid in the coffin. I can't imagine how distraught my Bob was.

I paid my last respect and gave him as many prayers for him to rest in peace.

Fabian AM - a man i called daddy for a brief short time is gone forever.

May you Rest in Peace, Daddy. You will always be in our prayers.

This picture taken when we attended Marcel's wedding in Tuaran. Seen here, Bob's father talking to my father while my mum smiled to the camera.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Waltzing with the Cranberries

For the past 2 weeks, i have been listening to The Cranberries songs. But due to not-known problem with Brenda's CD player in her car, i only manage to hear about 6 songs in the CD. never really get to listen the whole CD. I wish i knew the problem.

The Cranberries - i just love their music. will always be. Many of their tracks are my favorite! I'm sooo in love with this Irish band, til now. Forever!

I have all the albums (Bob downloaded all of them... for me xoxo). Going to ask him to make me a Mp3 for all Cranberries' album. I miss Cranberries sooooo much.

How can u ever forget this wonderful song? The Cranberries - When You're Gone

The Cranberries introduced themselves to me with this song - Ode to my Family

I love this unplugged version - Zombie

Dolores O'Riordan said, this was her FIRST KISS. Well, mine too! Linger.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

dark hole

My biggest regret was when we lost our Rottweiler, Rocco. He was barely 4 months old, and we lost him. It happened to me once, I lost Chopper few years ago because of Parvovirus... and i took that as a lesson, me and Bob have a very healthy female Rottweiler, Roxy. She is now coming to 5 years old.

Me and my father bought a puppy Rottweiler for $700 a few months ago. Not cheap. i know. The lady said she had just vaccinated the puppy the day before. She gave the health card to me. His next jap for vaccine would be in couple of months.

Yet i didn't bring him to the vet. Why did I repeat the same mistake all over again?!


I hate myself the day he died. 16th September 2010.

This is just something that i will never forgive myself.

I lost 2 dogs because of this deadly virus. I know the dangerous level of this virus and yet i didn't do what i was supposed to do.

This virus is a number 1 enemy for Rotts. In 3 days, this virus alone could kill a Rott.

I've never seen my father so angry and hurt because of my foolish mistake. In 7 years, no one has ever blamed me over something but this time - it did hit me BIG time.

I can't cry, and i can't even voice out. I was so ANGRY with myself. I feel like jumping out from the car whilst my father driving it.

I don't blamed him being that angry towards me. He loves the dog dearly...

I hope to replace him another Rott. Been looking all over KK for a Rott pups.

And i don't mind spending huge $, again. I'll replace, and i will not EVER AGAIN repeat the same mistake.

RIP Rocco. Please come back into our lives again... we want the SAME you.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

a very fine story by Stephanie Halmilton.

The last time i remembered crying over reading a book was while reading P.S I Love You by Cecilia Ahern. I thought, man, that was so touching as if i was really watching everything LIVE from that book! I cried. And when i mistakenly flipped the previously page that i've read, i cried again.

And today i came across to another story, short story yet very inspiring. It was posted by Gfrendz.com.

Believe it or not, I CRIED AGAIN! over this very SHORT STORY...!

Please read....

(An inspiring story by Stephanie Halmilton)

This is a very touching and sad, true story about a man who was seeing another woman, and wanting to divorce his wife, after 10 years of marriage. The heartbroken wife agrees with the divorce on one weird condition; to stay with her one more month and carry her out of the house like he did on their wedding day, every day for one month.

This is how the story goes…

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

Thursday, July 22, 2010

a little bit of Toxic song and sweet Piaf

Hobs told me there is an Israeli singer (born in Paris) and made her name BIG in French music industry. He found this video clip on YouTube when he was looking for Eminem's.

Singer : Yael Naim
Song title : Toxic (Britney Spear cover)


Ahhhh.... I love French language. To me, they sound really sexy. I am so going to learn this language!

I love this language because of you all - Depp, Piaf, Cotilard, Paradis!

Another good French song.

Band : Pomplamoose
Song title : La Vie en Rose (Edith Piaf cover)


And enjoy.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


18th March 2010. The date that i will never ever forget in my life. The date was my last day with MAS.

And as for today onwards, i am no longer a MAS staff. To know that i am officially off with MAS, that really hurt me. But i have to think about my future. The most important thing is that i have to move on. I do not wish to stay longer in KL. Somehow, i have to move back to KK. To where i belong.

KK is the place i belonged to. I have a beautiful family and i want to spend every minute with them. Mummy, Daddy, and my lovely sisters.

To do this, i had to let go my carier with MAS. My long Seven years service with MAS. Throughout the years, i've made great friends. I will never forget them, i will do my best to keep in touch with each of them.

Of course i am sad. Who would never feel that? I've been working with them for goddamn 7 years!

Dzul is the best of all. Great friend that i will always cherish in my heart. He's been there during my ups and downs. Leaving the job means leaving Dzul behind too.

I miss him dearly now. Huhuhuhuuuu.....

And the most important person - Hobbes. My fiancee. We will take this as a challenge in our relationship. We'll get through this.

As much as i think this is hard, but one of us have to start the difficult decision until the other one follows. I guess I am the one take the move and he will be joining me later.

Early February, i went for Korean Air interview in KK. Then, i went for the second one in KL town office. The result - i got the job. It offers me almost the same as what i get from MAS. I accepted the job.

And here i am in KK now. Will start my carier with Korean Air on next Monday. I am pretty nervous. Working with foreign carrier is whole lot new experience to me. It is indeed a new challenge for me. Most of all, a new experience in my life.

I miss my Hobbes very much. I just hope he understand my decision. I know this is not easy for him and of course for me as well... but like i said, we'll manage.

Goodbye Malaysia Airlines. Hello Korean Air.