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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Accidently in Love

What is there to tell?

Love and friendship. It is more complicated compared to a normal relationship.

Friends - you get to talk whatever you want without any hesitation. Laugh out loud you can.

But once it turned into a relationship - gosh, it will ruin the whole beautiful things. All of sudden, secrets are getting in a way. No more telling the truth. To keep each other happy, it's better to be silent.

I used to have a very good friend - long time ago. Somehow, we became closer and closer, ended up in a relationship with each other. Well, it's good to have a boyfriend who used to be your best buddy before, but, to tell you the truth, somehow along the way, we also build a very long border between us. I hate to say this, but i kind of missing the old days of us. I love him still, though. But the feeling is getting old. We are both getting old, fun is never really matters anymore. Now it's all about 'getting old' together.

I don't like it. I wish he's more like the guy i love in TV shows, romantic and caring. He used to be that guy before.

It doesn't really matter anymore. After all, he's all i've got. If i was to find another person, that would be very hard for me to start all over again. I don't wish to make my life harder so i am thankful with whom i with right now (although, i hope a little more from this relationship).

And i have this very good friend of mine. I have a very special feeling towards him. We still have a good chat whenever we bumped into each other. For 8 years, knowing him is the best part in my life! For years, he has been there through my ups and downs. I was there during his too. God knows, we still care about each other.

I bid my another farewell to him, recently. I put my hand around his arm and we walked together - talked about all littlest unimportant things. As we reached the corner pathway to my office, we both gave a good hug. That was the second farewell we did in 2 years.

I love him - friendly love. I can't hope more than that. Our friendly love is enough to make us both happy. We are best to be just friend. It is not really a good idea falling for your best buddy. Thank God, i limit my feeling towards him. But still, he has a special place here in my heart. Always.

I want to leave it that way because i don't want to ruin anymore friendship like i did before. i never regret what i've ruined before, in fact, i'm still with him. I just hope we could get back to the old time fun like we used to have before.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Back to hometown!

I'm finally back to KK.

Leaving KL this time is much more harder than last time.

Before i left, i met Dzul and gave him the SAMCRO dvd for him to watch. We walked together and gave a good hug as farewell. Going to miss that guy. The only friend i care about...

And Hobbes, not so easy to leave too. But he'll be just fine. I miss him already.

And i miss Cibbo too and the other cats. Roxy... Damn it, i miss them dearly now...

Here i am. I'm back... It feels like i never left at all. I'm happy to be here and glad too.

At this time, i'm all alone with my cousin, Boy. Brenda is on her way home from her Campus. The rest of the family went to Penang for vacation yesterday. Brenda is joining them in couple of days. Me? I'm missing a lot of family outings, well, including this one.

Hopefully next time i am able to join them. In fact, i do not wish to miss anymore fun with them.