Accidently in Love

What is there to tell?

Love and friendship. It is more complicated compared to a normal relationship.

Friends - you get to talk whatever you want without any hesitation. Laugh out loud you can.

But once it turned into a relationship - gosh, it will ruin the whole beautiful things. All of sudden, secrets are getting in a way. No more telling the truth. To keep each other happy, it's better to be silent.

I used to have a very good friend - long time ago. Somehow, we became closer and closer, ended up in a relationship with each other. Well, it's good to have a boyfriend who used to be your best buddy before, but, to tell you the truth, somehow along the way, we also build a very long border between us. I hate to say this, but i kind of missing the old days of us. I love him still, though. But the feeling is getting old. We are both getting old, fun is never really matters anymore. Now it's all about 'getting old' together.

I don't like it. I wish he's more like the guy i love in TV shows, romantic and caring. He used to be that guy before.

It doesn't really matter anymore. After all, he's all i've got. If i was to find another person, that would be very hard for me to start all over again. I don't wish to make my life harder so i am thankful with whom i with right now (although, i hope a little more from this relationship).

And i have this very good friend of mine. I have a very special feeling towards him. We still have a good chat whenever we bumped into each other. For 8 years, knowing him is the best part in my life! For years, he has been there through my ups and downs. I was there during his too. God knows, we still care about each other.

I bid my another farewell to him, recently. I put my hand around his arm and we walked together - talked about all littlest unimportant things. As we reached the corner pathway to my office, we both gave a good hug. That was the second farewell we did in 2 years.

I love him - friendly love. I can't hope more than that. Our friendly love is enough to make us both happy. We are best to be just friend. It is not really a good idea falling for your best buddy. Thank God, i limit my feeling towards him. But still, he has a special place here in my heart. Always.

I want to leave it that way because i don't want to ruin anymore friendship like i did before. i never regret what i've ruined before, in fact, i'm still with him. I just hope we could get back to the old time fun like we used to have before.

Xoxo